marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
you puked on the porch, i can see your jacket on the floor next to your underwear. i know your home, unchain the door, you're the worst roommate ever.
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
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