Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
one of the cashiers from Kroger is eating at my kitchen table and nobody knows why.
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
I think the Predator is hunting me in my house. If I don't text you later, send Danny Glover. I love you all.
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
My bad man. I was at a strip club, and apparently it's like a big deal to take your phone out in one of those places.
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
Randomize
