YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
Randomize
