her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
I look excited, but its just a facade.
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.
Randomize
