Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
Turns out my drunken logic and wordsmithing isn't quite the same as the sober version. I'm pretty sure I made fun of the managers mom at one point
I'm babysitting my fucking roommate he took out the screen and is trying to throw dishware in our fucking pool after he repelled off our balcony
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
I dressed up as a breathalyzer test for Halloween; never had so many straight dudes blow me before!
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
So....I just took a paddle fan on high speed to the side of the head while getting head...still finished the job, good thing I'm drunk and couldn't feel it.
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
Randomize
