too bad you live with your parents still
And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
okay i am so sorry that i pulled a knife on you last night but seriously that woman knows how to throw a party.
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
I know I'm drunk but why am I receiving this handjob through the pant leg of my shorts..?
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
Randomize
