Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
...there is blood under my fingernails.
...I hope my roomates are okay.
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
bad: friday night i tripped and fell outside my dorm. worse: i just found out i broke my ankle. worst: i was shitfaced and don't remember any of this.
Id love to say been there done that but im a slutty drunk not a stupid one.
They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore.
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
Whatever, the fact of the matter is that I saved you from poorly planned outdoor sex by doing a rain dance and you should totally thank me.
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
i need some magic done to my vagina
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
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