Just saw two guys having a lawn mower race, and their girlfriends cheering them on. Get me out of Tehachapi,
My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
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