I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
I was sitting behind this girl in class and she logged out of her facebook, hacked into her boyfriends, and then proceeded to check his inbox. This is why I'm single.
I think the secretary can hear it when I fart in the bathroom, how do you think she feels about that?
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
I've found my spirit animal. I'm a Snapple bottle. If you take my top off I'll tell you a fact about science.
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
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