You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
Sometimes I forget to take my socks off when I masturbate. This always makes me feel like I'm accidentally in a porn.
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
I will forever be haunted by the image of you hurrying to finish your Jimmy Johns sandwich in the Taco Bell drive thru so you could proceed to order $17 dollars worth of shitty Mexican food.
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
I know you're having a really bad day and I'm a little to blame for that and I'm sorry. To make your day go better just try to imagine what people's fuck faces look like.
Randomize
