so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
Apparently I gave him a 'Steve jobs blowjob'
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
why are all my papers due the day after my potential hangover
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
All right cuz right now I'm in one of those moods where the shear thought of doing anything more strenuous than making a sandwich has me wanting to curl up in the feeble position and splash around in a puddle of my own tears.
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
I need you to teach me how to be roommates with somebody I'm not fucking.
Drunk is not a location!
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
Randomize
