I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
So, i took all the condoms from his nightstand, not in the crazy ex way, but in the I paid for them way.
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
Someone snapchat me a pic of you topless laying on the bar with Scotty pouring a bottle of tequila down your throat. IT'S NOT EVEN ELEVEN YET.
School starts next week
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
I'm about to make existential crisis tacos.
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
Randomize
