ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
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Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
I just wanted to tell you that the German word for "dickhead" can also be translated as "ass violin" and I think that's beautiful.
How drunk is too drunk to be on an airplane?
Seriously, I really just burned my nipple making ravioli.. I'd explain, but no reasoning makes this acceptable:/
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