So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
operation have a gay friend backfired
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
If you've ever wondered what a shitshow is, just watch me at the bar on a Friday. Or Tuesday. Take your pick.
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
I mean like, I missed 30 minutes of star wars to fuck you on Christmas so you must be worth something
My father has a definite type: blonde, busty, 18-22. It was awkward when I was in college, but now I'm over it. I play wingman for him and he buys me expensive purses for the assistance in getting him hooked up with girls younger than me. Win-win.
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
Randomize
