quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
I was drunk and gave him my dad's phone number instead because somehow I thought that'd be funny. Man did that fucking backfire
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
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