I think we should go ahead and pin a note to my shirt when we go out that says"do NOT buy me shots"
On the back we can put possible side effects may include: indiscriminate making out, brief crying spells, yelling in jibberish, and sudden sleep.
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
I think he thought I was too drunk to handle his parrot
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
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