Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
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