Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
Did you ever get our sex tape out of the rental car before you returned it?
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
The slot machines are wishing me happy birthday. Mission success.
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
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