the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
I made a Wendy's employee say fuck this and quit because I started flipping out due to a baked potato shortage. Of course I had a good night
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
I had to carry him up the hill while he was wearing nothing but knee high socks and a blue glitter sequin leotard.
Why is this not a picture message?
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