she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
You had a beer at 10:30 this morning?
Ya, I didn't have any Tylenol.
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
At lowes after workin outside. Kid behind me says "mommy that man smells like a taco" yes she was talking about me.
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
3 things. 1. is this real life 2. my liver hates me 3. keg race tonight
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
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