Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
The cab driver referred to me as his little gumdrop, im sure he won't feel the same when he sees the vomit all over his floor.
The nurse told me they're using the same medicine that killed michael jackson.
$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
Wanna tell me why vodka seeped out of the memory foam when I climbed into my bed?
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
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