He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
Stuck in the Dallas airport. At the bar. Everytime a flight to DC gets cancelled, I'm takin a shot. Fuck you snow.
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
I thought accidentally shaving off my fingertip while trying to shave my butthole was going to be the most unexpected part of my day, but no
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
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