The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
you're like a bully in the Christmas story
my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
I woke up this morning to my phone notebook open and written was "reasons why I'm a whore in chronological order" then it listed everybody I've had sex with in the past five months.
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
Randomize
