it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
you were mass sexting so we took your phone away
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
I sent two dick pics to a wrong number and one was in .gif format so it was helicoptering all over the place. I single handedly ruined a child's life.
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
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