I totally just used John Mayer's lyrics to get laid.
last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
dude you were so wasted last night you ate a sandwich made out of tomatos, cheese, doritos, salt & pepper. Then you heated it in the micro for 5 min to melt the cheese.
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
Randomize
