He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
Randomize
