why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
Sacagawea was the original milf.
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
I had such a pleasant walk of shame. The sun was shining, I smiled at all the high school suckers who judged me on their way to school, and I made friends with an old guy and his dog.
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
Randomize
