also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
I get a nice feeling when i open my fridge and see it filled with thirty beers and half a leftover jimmy johns pickle.
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
I mean, yeah, she was cheating on me but I've been fucking her brother. My secret relationship trumps her secret relationship.
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
He took a girl home at like eight, fucked her, kicked her out, came back to the bar, and repeated the process again at 10:30 and 2:30. THREE GIRLS IN ONE NIGHT. ALL PICKUPS. I HATE HIM.
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
I swear to God if you start calling your dick “my pegasus” we’re not friends anymore
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
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