She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
Are you coming to the bday night? i'll be doing a life-like reenactment of traveling through Bonnie's vaginal canal and taking my first breath of life. Don't think you'll want to miss it.
I can bring a slip n slide and curtains.
I went to the obgyn with chipped nail polish.. Somewhere Beyonce was looking down, shaking her head, whispering "Not fierce."
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
I woke up still drunk to a beautiful tattooed columbian man making me pancakes. How's your memorial day?
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
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