When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, you're a dumbass
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
You can't do wine Netflix and blow jobs in the bed you've had since 5th grade with your parents downstairs
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
Randomize
