dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
If you ever get divorced...would you call me??
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