i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
So I'm pretty sure I fucked the dept of homeland security guy on my kitchen table. No recollection of it, but there are signs.
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
the guy in the stall next to me, came in, farted, laughed, and proceeded to give himself some sort of hillbilly pep talk that included the phrase "big pussy".
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
I'm still a bit day drunk and decided to go for a run. You may get a snapchat of me vomiting soon
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
Yeah apparently i called the bartender a "fucking prison warden" after she took my keys and called me a cab
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
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