im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
Apparent my drunk ass was so dedicated to taking a piss, when I walked across the dance floor to get to the bathroom a 9/10 broad tried to dance with me and I just pushed her aside, like hard enough to send her a few feet from where she was standing, pointed at her and said "Not now chief, gotta rock a mean one."
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