Rock
Scissors
Fuck
the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
I deserve to be covered in dicks
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
You tried to chase every shot with a blueberry.
Randomize
