i think i have two assholes
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
I think it's a scientific achievement that I can make jelly that is 95% vodka so suck it up.
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
Randomize
