They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
Hon, I found you crying into a bathrobe in the back of a closet with a broken shoerack.
Jesus Christ I am the crazy cat lady of vibrators
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
You drink too much. You cuss too much. You have questionable morals. You're everything I've ever wanted in a friend.
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
Randomize
