Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
How have I seen you throw up on yourself 3 different times, yet we weren't Facebook friends until I accidentally hooked up with your ex?
In other news: I massively over-caffeinated this morning. Everything is vibrating and I can SEE THROUGH TIME
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
Randomize
