How did I get so drunk? We had to fish that girl out of the Goodwill Donation Box.
My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
Excuse me hold on, hooking up with someone who is verified on twitter is like being important.
Yes and yes. Got taken to a Florida strip club. I desperately want to flood my eyes and ears with hand sanitizer right now.
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
Randomize
