I'm drinking while my friends build sand castles, now I know how my dad used to feel
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
He pulled over in the Compass Bank parking lot so I could dry-heave, but I decided I couldn't vomit there because "I bank here."
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
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