I am going to give you the keys to my place
Then I'll give you the keys to my heart
Gag me
were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
Dude. I kneed him in the face and gave him a black eye. It's like a constant reminder of our hookup. I feel like herpes. I never go away...
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
i was sitting in the back of a squad car completely stoned watching airplanes take off
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
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