I heard we made out
fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
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she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
If you're ever desperate for a guy's #, ask him to call your lost cell phone so you can find it. Some genius used that on me last night. FML
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I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
My idiot ex texted me on Valentine's day to tell me I was right, he did need a therapist.
I woke up this morning to find my closet lacking 98% of my clothes and a text from my male roommate saying your dresses squeeze my genitals
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
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