There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
just found a beer in my hamper. even my laundry is a dirty alcoholic.
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
Fyi - we're going to be eating those sandwiches in bed when you get home.
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
Randomize
