she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
oh my god, just saw a man throw up in a trashcan and blood came out of his nose. HES GETTING ON MY BUS. HES SITTING ACROSS FROM ME. FUCK.
I woke up to my roommate checking my pulse
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
Current status: so high that I'm unable to have coherent conversation with my mom, but still knew that when my dad said "shpritzy white stuff" I understood that he was trying to think of "whipped cream."
That text took me 10 minutes.
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
Randomize
