I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
Called the cops on a high school party then went in after all the kids ran away and took the rest of the beer. What are you doing tonight?
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
What I thought was my travel sanitizer was actually my travel lube. Most awkward transit ride of all time!
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
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