I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
In honor of Dennis Farina dying, I'm offering up free mustache rides...2 takers so far.
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
Randomize
