my mother just offered to pay for my fake id.
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
Fucked Zombie Jesus at a Halloween party. I need Plan B before I give birth to the Antichrist.
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
Welp... sober this am and I still have a parrot.
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
Baked out of my mind. Went in the bathroom, a daddy long leg spider and a carpenter ant are battling it out on the floor. I brought my computer with some dubstep.
OMG THE ANT WON
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
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