You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
please don't let me die tonight
what have you done for me lately?
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
I'm putting you on my Emergency card so i can spend the last ounce of strength in my hospital bed to flip you off.
You grabbed the hot guy that was making out with his girlfriend all night, slurred "I need to borrow this" then shoved your hand down his pants. All because you thought your ex walked into the bar. It was majestic in its shitshowness.
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This German chick looked me up and down for a while. Then she grabbed my crotch, let go after a few seconds, and said "you vill do". I think I'm gonna like tonight.
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
They don't really make a "hey I'm fucking your ex wife" card do they ?
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