if you like me you must not know who I am
I accidentally had phone sex last night
Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
Randomize
