Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
This is classic penis vs brain.
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
Randomize
