She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
im about as happy as oj after his trial
a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
Just woke up to find myself in a random bed with two people next to me having sex. I thought it would be awkward to just suddenly get up so i think I'm gonna lie here and pretend I'm still sleeping.
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
You just sent me an audio message of you peeing. That’s true love right there.
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
The last time we went to a costume party, you walked around in a loincloth with a cross and said you were Jesus. I'm eager to see how much more offensive you can be.
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