His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
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