Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(502): View more from Kentucky

you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...

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(502): you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty... http://tfl.nu/96t1

Replies (4) Good night (594) Bad night (3532)
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(832): View more from Houston, Texas

So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.

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(832): So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket. http://tfl.nu/78sj

Replies (27) Good night (2006) Bad night (3449)
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(201): View more from New Jersey

Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.

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(201): Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself. http://tfl.nu/3rwg

Replies (6) Good night (5692) Bad night (781)
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(678): View more from Georgia

Went to my car this morning. Found a waffle from Waffle House in the front seat. No idea how it got there. So hung over I ate it.

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(678): Went to my car this morning. Found a waffle from Waffle House in the front seat. No idea how it got there. So hung over I ate it. http://tfl.nu/0dlq

Replies (27) Good night (4954) Bad night (1601)
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(919): View more from North Carolina

Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.

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(919): Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice. http://tfl.nu/je3x

Replies (5) Good night (3023) Bad night (815)
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(765): View more from Indiana

If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.

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(765): If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs. http://tfl.nu/un7a

Replies (2) Good night (1593) Bad night (637)
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(902): View more from Pr Edwrd Is, Nva Sctia

On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day

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(902): On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day http://tfl.nu/p5su

Replies (4) Good night (1851) Bad night (568)
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(561): View more from Florida

6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time

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(561): 6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time http://tfl.nu/83id

Replies (5) Good night (1286) Bad night (464)
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(703): View more from Virginia

See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.

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(703): See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians. http://tfl.nu/t1a5

Replies (8) Good night (2010) Bad night (1098)
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(910): View more from North Carolina

The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...

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(910): The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video... http://tfl.nu/iq5u

Replies (5) Good night (2270) Bad night (527)
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(615): View more from Tennessee

We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.

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(615): We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably. http://tfl.nu/c0bc

Replies (3) Good night (1876) Bad night (516)
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(519): View more from Ontario

University has ruined us all. I just had to clarify the last time I had sex as "No, not at the party we crawled home from in the snow. It was the one where you puked off the balcony and hit the barbecue."

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(519): University has ruined us all. I just had to clarify the last time I had sex as "No, not at the party we crawled home from in the snow. It was the one where you puked off the balcony and hit the barbecue." http://tfl.nu/irh4

Replies (0) Good night (832) Bad night (300)
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(732): View more from New Jersey

seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.

(908): View more from New Jersey

This is why you are not allowed out in public.

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(732): seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian. (908): This is why you are not allowed out in public. http://tfl.nu/xlma

Replies (1) Good night (534) Bad night (304)
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(978): View more from Massachusetts

So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too

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(978): So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too http://tfl.nu/cj9m

Replies (10) Good night (1749) Bad night (538)
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(217): View more from Illinois

and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.

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(217): and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear. http://tfl.nu/et11

Replies (1) Good night (234) Bad night (608)

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