no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
My therapist said that she thinks i may have a sex addiction. I think she may be a terrible therapist.
Want me to drive you to Dr. Drew's sex rehab?
Nah, cause then i cant masturbate to that show anymore.
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
21 Ladies Confess The Grossest Things They Do When No One’s Around
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
23 Tweets I Thought Were Really Funny When I Was Drunk Yesterday
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
Fun fact: drinking me now steals weaponry
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
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