Oh. Im drinking alone in a banana costume. Every time youre feeling down, i want you to think of me right now and know that your life is better than mine.
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
She threw up on me during morning sex and now Im pretty sure I just saw a woman die at 7-eleven. This is way too much for a Monday morning
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
These 29 Nasty People Went To The Bathroom In Public
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
19 People Who Had An Inappropriate Celebrity Encounter
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
Put some vodka in it
put some vodka in it
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?