I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
29 Frat Parties That Got Way Too Out Of Control
We ran out of wine so we are trying the absinthe you brought over from Spain like 3 years ago. Please call me at noon tomorrow. If we die, its your fault
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
I need like a hormone stopper. Or a chastity belt. Or like a lady business alarm that goes off when I'm being too drunk.
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
15 Ridiculous Ways Broke People Managed to Make a Buck
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.