it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
advice for life: when the cop takes your tallboy, don't ask for your coozy back
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
She's in the bathroom. Literally just told me she could make a guy cum using just her words. Not bad for Sunday brunch.
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
mom is telling me the setting in which I was conceived
did you know we used to have a pool?
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
Randomize
