bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
Whose surfboard did we steal and why is there a wood carving of a pelican in the fridge where the beer used to be?
one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What kind of flower means "I want to have unprotected sex with you, preferably from behind?" because thats the message I'd really like to send on Valentines Day
We've reached that awkward stage of the relationship where he's in love with me when he's drunk, but sober him is still afraid of commitment.
I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after
You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
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