I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
she told me i tasted like america
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
note to self: do not snort crushed up caffeine pills in the bathroom by yourself when ur super shit faced, ur face will fucking hate you in the morning.
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
My walk of shame is starting to become positively reinforcing; I stop by Starbucks and when I leave I look someone just heading to work.
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
Randomize
