gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
I want to give you a handjob with my mouth.
Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
I'm reducing my diet to vodka and rice cakes.
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
I just made my bed perfectly before realizing that I'll be too drunk to appreciate it tonight
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
I called you last night? What did I say??
That you love me forever and that I'm the greatest in the world now mohammed ali is dead...
Like, when both of your dads are drag queens you're bound to have some amazing Halloween makeup
Randomize
