what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
She's in the bathroom crying cuz she can't get the condom out of her giner. Do you have tongs?
Woke up this morning with one boob drawn on to look like the globe. Questionable?
Listen, Pinot Grigio got me pregnant. It can get you a boyfriend.
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
She told me I should be a condom model.
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
Randomize
