Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
I showed up to a booty-call in my onesie pajamas and rubber boots
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
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