Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
just bailed mom out of jail. Tell me i'm not the favorite child
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
I just handed the barista at Starbucks a panty liner instead of my card....maybe I should upgrade this Tall to a Venti...
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
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