is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
Convincing a cop that you have diplomatic immunity is way harder in Dallas than in Serbia. And you get fined for attempted bribery.
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
Look, his dick is so good at being a dick that it makes me see God. And I don't even believe in God.
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