Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
you handed me the dorito you were about to eat and told me to 'keep him safe' while you went to the bathroom
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
All our friends are getting married, and I'm the dateless guy bringing molly to their weddings.
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
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