Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
premonition: im going to wake up covered in mashed potatoes
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
Randomize
