I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
iphones do not disturb setting is the biggest cock block to my 3am booty calls
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
There are only four things in life that are certain. 1 Death, 2 Taxes, 3 The wu tang clan aint nothin to fuck with, and 4 you will never be more important than taco bell
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
Last night I had a dream that I changed my last name to Vodka. what does that say about my life?
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
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