Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
he showed up at my house with a hand-stiched sweater that said "girlfriend?"
He may or may not be blacked out. We put him to sleep in the community bathroom. He's wrapped in your blanket and he's already puked on it twice. Using your blanket was my idea. Maybe next time you'll ask before taking my vodka.
Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
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