I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
he proceeded to punch 3 mailboxes in a row and when i asked him why, he said "because they were talking shit"... i need a new boyfriend. and a new life.
I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
Blood and glitter go together right?
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
And don't try to lose a condom in me tonight. My vagina is not a storage compartment where you can just leave something and try and use it again later in the week.
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
I FLASHED A GUY AT MCDONALDS FOR A FREE BREAKFAST BURRITO. IT WORKED!
Randomize
