I am slurping my drink like I am going to the electric chair
why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
When we found you, you were using the bottle of Captain as a pillow...with a note on your forehead that said don't wake up the champion.
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
She left you responsible for her guinea pig for what, 3 hours? And it somehow died under your care? I will no longer trust you with so much as a beer.
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
You make any dick jokes involving sushi and there WILL be consequences.
Sushi is fucking sacred in this house and I will kill you if you try and taint that.
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
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