it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
"Where are you? Where are my keys? What is this guys name again? Why am I wearing two pairs of your pants?"
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
The fact that my boss lets me drink on my lunch break makes Mondays much easier.
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
Were not even through the second month of the year and I potentially may have torpedoed a marriage...
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
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