just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
Last night I dreamt that I sold my car and used the money to have wheels surgically implanted in my feet and legs so I became a human heely and I just rolled everywhere
When cunnilingus is one of the first 25 words you say to someone there's a problem
#reasonsyoushouldnthaveatinder
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
Most tragic bathtub-fart of all time. I am going to be late.
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
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