Texts From Last Night

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  (513): View more from Ohio

  The guy dancing on me has three visible teeth. WHERE ARE YOU?

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  (513): The guy dancing on me has three visible teeth. WHERE ARE YOU? http://tfl.nu/gpmz
  Replies (8) Good night (637) Bad night (3392)
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  (404): View more from Georgia

  last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl

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  (404): last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl http://tfl.nu/5x3v
  Replies (19) Good night (2682) Bad night (714)
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  (860): View more from Connecticut

  Last night I ate the rest of the salsa with my hands. And i DONT have a hangover? Glorious.

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  (860): Last night I ate the rest of the salsa with my hands. And i DONT have a hangover? Glorious. http://tfl.nu/hqob
  Replies (10) Good night (3782) Bad night (614)
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  (404): View more from Georgia

  He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"

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  (404): He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!" http://tfl.nu/kefh
  Replies (16) Good night (5694) Bad night (1006)
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  (248): View more from Michigan

  Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest

  (248): View more from Michigan

  If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does

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  (248): Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest (248): If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does http://tfl.nu/2sf6
  Replies (10) Good night (7625) Bad night (1288)
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  (512): View more from Texas

  Just so you know, I'm standing in my bra eating cereal. My keys were in the cereal box.

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  (512): Just so you know, I'm standing in my bra eating cereal. My keys were in the cereal box. http://tfl.nu/wxom
  Replies (7) Good night (3060) Bad night (943)
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  (412): View more from Pennsylvania

  Well the pizza delivery man was either startled or incredibly intrigued to see me skateboarding in the living room by myself at 1 in the morning in ripped pantyhose

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  (412): Well the pizza delivery man was either startled or incredibly intrigued to see me skateboarding in the living room by myself at 1 in the morning in ripped pantyhose http://tfl.nu/1rcv
  Replies (9) Good night (3231) Bad night (830)
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  (615): View more from Tennessee

  He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.

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  (615): He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk. http://tfl.nu/adyj
  Replies (4) Good night (2567) Bad night (979)
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  (716): View more from New York

  So my birthday was awesome. Only remember 45 min of it but I woke up with a girl on the couch and a half bowl of ground beef

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  (716): So my birthday was awesome. Only remember 45 min of it but I woke up with a girl on the couch and a half bowl of ground beef http://tfl.nu/t05x
  Replies (4) Good night (2652) Bad night (1419)
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  (646): View more from New York

  last night a police horse bit me when i was wasted. even the animal kingdom knows i'm no good

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  (646): last night a police horse bit me when i was wasted. even the animal kingdom knows i'm no good http://tfl.nu/h7gj
  Replies (16) Good night (2028) Bad night (1026)
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  (937): View more from Ohio

  Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.

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  (937): Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character. http://tfl.nu/p33a
  Replies (3) Good night (1038) Bad night (367)
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  (870): View more from Arkansas

  I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?

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  (870): I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life? http://tfl.nu/mep1
  Replies (1) Good night (621) Bad night (534)
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  (731): View more from Tennessee

  I just farted so loud someone came to check on me. Thought something fell in my office.

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  (731): I just farted so loud someone came to check on me. Thought something fell in my office. http://tfl.nu/6ten
  Replies (3) Good night (934) Bad night (325)
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  (803): View more from South Carolina

  Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.

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  (803): Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into. http://tfl.nu/tu8a
  Replies (2) Good night (925) Bad night (194)
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  (602): View more from Arizona

  I am one with the molecules

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  (602): I am one with the molecules http://tfl.nu/9vlj
  Replies (1) Good night (406) Bad night (127)

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