We should see who can shotgun a beer faster over iPhone FaceTime
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
These 19 Teachers Had Very Inappropriate Interactions With Students
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
And don't try to lose a condom in me tonight. My vagina is not a storage compartment where you can just leave something and try and use it again later in the week.
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
Women Confess 25 Instant Deal-Breakers On A Man’s Dating Profile
She just asked if I wanted to eat nachos off of her boobs... I'm going to marry this girl.
Yeah if I don't text back. I'm eating. sleeping. Or lifting. Or drinking. Or playing call of duty. Like shit man
THEY'RE TEXTING LIKE MIDDLE AGED SOCCER MOMS WHAT DO I DO
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
He put his SoundCloud on his Tinder bio. I felt personally attacked.
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?